New Year, New Resolutions

Compiled with my three sets of mini individual alphabet rubber stamps  : )

In a few short hours, it will be a new year.  I'll be counting down to 2013 amid the masses in cattle class on a plane, lifting off five minutes after midnight.

All my bags are packed; I'm ready to go.  The taxi's waitin'; he's blowin' his horn.  Yes, I'm leaving, on a jet plane... I do know when I'll be back again, but it won't be exactly the same person who touches down back at good ole JFK in a few weeks.  I hope this little break from NYC will ready me for a new beginning.

I feel a bit ambivalent about this past year.  I was really hopeful at the beginning of it.  I've had many, many good times, most definitely.  I have made great new friends and deepened old friendships; I am eternally grateful for that.  Romance-wise and career-wise, though, I seem to be advancing one step and falling back two.

My friend Darryl, who is one of the most interesting people I know, has a gorgeous tattoo across his forearm that says "Joga Bonito".  The Portuguese phrase means "play beautifully", and is commonly used to describe the sportsmanship of soccer.  Darryl uses it to remind himself "don't be a dick" (his words).  I instantly understood what he meant because it is the creed I live by also; I even articulated the same sentiment in my New Year resolutions last year.

It has been a little difficult this year, but I think I have remained true to my desire to act with grace, to play beautifully.  I have treated others well, the best I know how.  I have really had to remind myself to be the bigger person a number of times, though.  I'm not into tattoos for myself, so I intended to have a bracelet custom-made with "Joga Bonito" engraved on it, and wear it as a daily reminder.  I didn't end up having time to do it before leaving town, but I'll post a picture of it when I do get it made.

I think my resolutions for 2013 will be very simple: Joga Bonito and - this is something that is much harder for me to do - to stand up for my values and needs in romantic relationships.  We teach people how to treat us; I stuff down my feelings so much and accept what is unacceptable for so long that I end up a doormat.  I do have boundaries, but I'm such a people-pleaser that it's difficult for me to enforce them.  This will change.

In spite of it all, my luck is holding up (knock on wood!) and life is good (knock on wood again!).  I continue to believe that good things will come if I believe that good things will come.  It will all be well in the end.

"I dream about the days to come, when I won't have to leave alone."

And now, I'll be on my way.

I wish you a new year filled to the brim with love, happiness, health and good times with those you love.

Take care.